It being Christmas and all, we have literally spent hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dollars on presents. So it was perfect timing when the following household pieces of shit ceased functioning.
1) Vacuum cleaner - Busted just when I was beginning to wade through all the pine needles that have fallen off our Christmas tree. Super good timing times 10. This purchase couldn’t have waited either. You also can’t turn cheap when buying a vacuum. Especially when you have two large dogs that shed enough to create another small dog. So I went to Bed Bath & Beyond purely because I had a 20% off coupon. They had a lot of vacuums online. They had two Eurekas and a handful of Dysons at the store. I bought the most expensive model before you get to Dyson expensive. Get it home, assemble it, give it a whirl. It picked up nothing. It actually spit stuff out. Pissed. I couldn’t disassemble it so I angrily threw all the pieces in the box, tossed a plastic bag over the thing and returned it (I may have left a few pieces at home in my angst). Then went to Walmart. That same model was under a $100. Thank you, Bed Bath & Beyond, for leading me to believe that I was buying a nice vacuum. I could’ve inhaled through an empty wrapping paper tube and picked up more than that Eureka did.
2) Washing machine - I could seriously rub two pant legs together with hand soap and do a better job. In its defense it was probably made in 1979 and it was a hand-me-down from sweet Grandpa Rocky. It’s on its last leg, however. You also can’t buy a washing machine without a dryer. Well I guess we could, but our dryer’s beat too. This purchase will hurt a bit. A lot a bit.
3) Truck fan - My heater fan only works on the highest setting. Meaning I’m always freezing or reeeeeally hot. There’s zero in-between. I also have to point the vents down at my legs because the massive blasts of air they emit dry my contacts out. It’s awesome.
