January 2012
29 posts
I typically greet people with a “Yello!” or “Jello!” or “Chello!” Also the way I answer the phone with someone I like on the other end. What I want to ask before I answer every call is “What’s my favorite dessert? …..Jello!” or “What does Yo Yo Ma play? …Chello!” But when there’s no one near you when you answer the...
1 tag
Testing out the new running shoes tonight that I purchased over the weekend. I’m trying a new brand with a bigger toe box, one of the items in my arsenal in my ongoing attempt to keep all 10 toenails this year. The other is actual running socks. Novel idea.
Unfornately when you wear a size 11, the color selection is fairly limited. I cruised out with pink/orange numbers. Not my first...
Prediction
We got our first snow fall of the winter last night. Looking forward to the 1,386,983 posts on Facebook about it. Also, I have to work today. Happy Monday.
Murrrrrderrr
A co-worker recently told me that she thought that it was funny that I drive a truck because I’m so girly. A total contradiction, but I’m both girly and tomboy-ey. Which I love by the way. I told her that what she didn’t know was that I cut my MAC toilette make-up remover cloths in half with a Leatherman in the mornings. Hardcore.
Speaking of babies...
I’m still unsure how I feel about the fact that I just signed up for the rewards program at Babies R Us. I have like six friends giving birth in the next seven months. Can we give boning a break for a touch? Honestly. I’m going to go broke. Alas, I’ll take a discount wherever I can get it. Even if it means a membership to the largest chain baby store ever, I guess.
I have a co-worker that recently found out that she’s pregnant. Apparently my boss is real, real concerned about me getting pregnant at the same time. I yawned twice during a meeting the other day and he inquired privately as to whether I was okay. Brosef, I….just yawned. I’m actually kind of tired and I have a headache if you must know. Not with child though. Thanks for the...
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Every January, NameCandy.com lists the names of the first baby born in the new year in each state. Oklahoma’s was Haiden Noelle. Pretty. Iowa’s was Elliot Mitchell. Cute. Nevada’s was Envy Essence-Faye. C’mon!!
How many people really have to comment on Facebook...
I’ve been outside - you’re right. It’s warm.
Waxing Philosophical
There’s something to be said about true love. Truly. You can love without being ‘in love.’ They are wildly confused. You honestly have to know what both feel like to be able to differentiate between the two. People go a lifetime without ever knowing. And when you know, you just know. There’s no question. No questioning whether this person would drop everything for anything...
2 tags
Me: Honey. Since the washer and dryer are coming on Friday, you know what I'd really like to do?!
Brody: Clean behind the old ones?
Me: How'd you know?
Brody: Seriously?
Me: ....
Dear large foreheaded movie-goer one seat over,
Worst movie etiquette ev-er. Sometimes people get annoyed with audible distractions whilst watching a feature. A great example of this would be the 40+ minutes that it took you to entirely polish off your carbonated beverage. And by polish, I mean the soda and every last piece of ice in the god forsaken cup. Not only was the ice loud when you brought the cup to your lips 482 times, the open mouth...
December 2011
24 posts
I got black wheels from my husband, the best gift giver ever, for Christmas. Now every time that I see my truck I say, “Murrrrrrrrderrrr.” Obviously I don’t have the body painted matte black, but it’s just the right amount murder for me.
2011 Wrap Up
I didn’t have a great year. I guess I didn’t have a bad one either. I learned marriage is hard work. And that I think I’m lacking inspiration. Life is getting boring. I go to work, I workout, I feed the dogs. That’s how I’d sum up my life. I’m not kidding. My husband and I have two completely different work schedules so most of the time, we’re two ships...
I was the kid that did not sleep on Christmas Eve because I was so excited. Even after I knew that Santa wasn’t real. When I finally did fall asleep, I’d wake up every few hours to check the time. I’d go into my parents’ room and creepily stare at them, maybe softly nudge. They were never irritated with me for waking them up, but they’d tell me I had to wait until my...
When it rains, it pours.
It being Christmas and all, we have literally spent hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dollars on presents. So it was perfect timing when the following household pieces of shit ceased functioning.
1) Vacuum cleaner - Busted just when I was beginning to wade through all the pine needles that have fallen off our Christmas tree. Super good timing times 10. This purchase couldn’t have waited...
Problems
I buy a boyfriend tee from Target every time they’re on sale just because how can you not buy anything for $6. Don’t get me wrong, I love them. They’re long, super comfortable and you can just throw them on with jeans. All 11 of them that I have in varying colors.
Life
Life is watching your favorite 4-year old sing at his Christmas program. Life is taking a bite of gooey macaroni and cheese and closing your eyes in ecstasy because you can’t think of anything that tastes better. Life is knowing that you have a man that loves you more than anything in the world. It’s smelling the sweet tortilla chip scent of your dogs’ paws while you snuggle on the couch. A...
Also, since I left the house this morning, I have found pancake batter on my bare chest where my shirt opens and in my hair. The hottest mess.
1 tag
Welp, I guess frigid temperatures + chapped lips = cold sore. This is a whole new equation for me. I’m a lucky, lucky girl.
'Tis the season
Todd: Where are you going to put a tree that big, Griswold?
Clark: Bend over and I’ll show you.
It looked waaaay smaller in the forest then it is in our house.
You know when your hands are soooo dry that they catch on things like your make-up remover cloths? Or spandex/lycra yoga pants? It’s like each finger has a thousand tiny feelers that grip shit. There’s not enough lotion on the planet right now. I hate winter.
