Word Slinger

Sometimes I wonder what we’d talk about. If you’d give me advice as an adult and make me feel the same way you did when you’d rub my back as I fell asleep when I was young. Just know that wherever I am and whatever I do, I think of you. And wherever you are, I miss you. I miss all the little things. I never thought they’d be everything to me. I wish you were here.

I recently read something on avoidance that rang a smidge close to home. I think people avoid things to keep from having to face something uncomfortable, scary. Inadequacies. I avoid paying my utilities until I can’t any longer because paying my bills forces me to balance my checkbook. Or transfer money. Which reminds me of the fact that I’m a compulsive spender. That I never have enough money. That I want a new expensive make-up brush but I shouldn’t get it because my truck registration is due. That I want to take a weekend trip but I have to get my heater fan in my truck fixed. Because if I don’t pay the power bill right away, I won’t have to feel the anxiety of feeling like I should be doing better; that I’m the only one still standing at the START line.

I typically greet people with a “Yello!” or “Jello!” or “Chello!” Also the way I answer the phone with someone I like on the other end. What I want to ask before I answer every call is “What’s my favorite dessert? …..Jello!” or “What does Yo Yo Ma play? …Chello!” But when there’s no one near you when you answer the phone, totally lost. Totes. It’s not nearly as funny repeated inside your head.